So Im trying to be better. I try to keep busy, have someplace to go every day, have a project or something big to look forward to. I've decided that I cant have every day be a "bad day". Who can live like that? So Im trying to accept my situation for what it is. Fact is, I have 3 toddlers. And when they dont eat dinner, they get down happy and come in and start playing like nothing. It doesnt bother them. So why am I in the kitchen pulling my hair out over the hotdogs still sitting there. They arent worried about it. So why should I be? The budget is what it is, why should I stress about it? Its not going to change. Christopher's long stretch of difficult rotations is over. Spring is coming... the sun will help and getting out to walk again and will help my attitude and my waistline I think. So Im looking to the future, trying to keep a good attitude, and accepting things darlings for what they are--Just that. How could I not love them completely. They are just so halarious. And instead of being mad at Jack for being so clingy, Im trying to enjoy the attention because I know too soon he wont want to cuddle with me anymore. Im trying to enjoy being his #1. Oh, they are so exhausting. So on that note... Im off to bed.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Its been a long winter. I thought I really missed the seasons, but Im ready for Spring to come. I think everyone understands that sensation. But lets be honest, it has been a really rough winter. I guess I knew that this year would be difficult in general. Difficult hours for CT, difficult ages for the kids, a super tight budget, no sunshine from Oct-May. I knew these things coming into it, but living it has been a different story. Its been really hard. Im trying to not have a pitty party, I know lots of people are living in difficult circumstances, Im just telling how it is. The darlings in particular have been very frustrating. The twins are in full blown 2 year old mode and Max thinks he's just as big. He's not a baby any more, walking around, giving me attitude. :) (teeheehee, like he could ever, angel baby.) They dont eat, they scream at me all day, they throw things, they are staying up later. Jack has been super clingy, almost an Oedipus complex. He bawls whenever I leave him or even put him down. Here is the house even. Its so frustrating to have him stuck to me. Its been really stressful. Christopher will come home and Im about at the end of my rope and ask how my day is. And it seemed everyday was a "bad day". All of this stress I turn to food and coke, now diet coke thank heavens, so my diet has been thrown out the window. Im a total stress eater. The 60 lbs I lost is now only 50 (which I know, I should still be grateful) but it makes me that much more depressed. Like I have no control over that either. Its just one more thing to add to my list of worries and discouragements. Thats it, Im depressed.
Although Christopher and I went out the week before, VDay itself was kind of a flop around here. In fact, the kid's vday cards from me are still in the drawer. I know. I really wanted to do a big thing for them, but lets be honest, Im exhausted. After all of the holidays and birthdays, I just didnt do it. But CT and I did go get massages (his first real one) and a nice dinner. Which was awesome. So Happy V day all.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Yup. Sorry Max. But this was your last. I put away all the bottles. I was looking at older posts from when the twins were born, this was 1/2 day. 24 bottles a day between the two. From that two years ago down to this one... Im tired of making and washing bottles. Maybe we'll give Avent a break. :) Oh, and if anyone can figure out how to rewind time, after looking back at those pics, I wouldnt mind going back to having just those two teeny tiny darlings for a little while. Let me know?
We are so lucky to have a membership to the YMCA. Its a full on gym and pool and it has 2 hrs free daycare every day. (Too bad Jack cries every time I've gone and we've had to leave after 30 minutes. Im hoping he gets used to it.) But this week for a family night we tried to go to the pools. AWESOME. They have this amazing splash pad, basically a playground in 10 inches of water. I think their faces say for themselves how much they loved it. I cant do it on my own unless I check a couple into the daycare and do one at a time, but with help, this is super fun!
Did anyone else, growing up, have popcorn parties on Sunday night while watching the Disney movie? One would come on Sunday nights at 6. Different every week. Mom would make homemade popcorn (the good stuff) and we'd get our blankets. Well, my babes love popcorn. And Disney. Monsters Inc and Nemo are dailies here. Sometimes I can sneek in Cars and Toy Story. But this is a tradition Im sure we'll keep up.